Drunk Bella
by Starksarrowgirl
Summary: What happens when Emmett gets Bela drunk and lets her run around the mall? Read and find out! Oneshot!


**What happens when Emmett, Rose, and Alice get Bella drunk when Edward and Jasper are hunting and the parents are away? Read on to find out!**

"So bored. What to do?" Emmett was pacing around in the living room. Edward was away hunting so he couldn't bug him and so was Jasper. Alice and Rose were just sitting on the couch, bored as well. Rose wanted to go to her room with Emmett and have some fun, but Emmett didn't want to. For once.

The sound of tires rolling down the driveway had all of their heads snap up. Esme and Carlisle were gone for the next three weeks on another honeymoon and Edward and Jazz shouldn't be back so soon. The bell rang and Alice squealed. She ran to the door and opened it to reveal Bella. "Hey guys," she said.

"Hey Bella! What are you doing here?" Alice asked.

Bella came in. "Someone set off a bunch of stink bombs around the school so we were sent home. Charlie isn't in town today, so I decided to come hang out with you guys."

" Great, now the fun can start!" said Emmett with a plan forming in his head. He grinned huge and went in the kitchen. Bella looked wide eyed at Alice and said, "Should I be afraid?"

She nodded. "Very afraid." Bella shuddered at the possibilities. Emmett came back in with a bottle in his hands. He handed it to Bella.

"Drink this whole bottle right now." She took and tried to look at the label but Emmett grabbed it back. "Don't worry about the name. Just drink it." She took it and shrugged. She trusted these vampires not to suck her blood, so she trusted them not to poison this drink. She chugged it down. It burned her throat a little but after it was gone, she felt lightheaded and her thoughts were fuzzy. She hiccupped and Emmett grinned. "How do you feel?"

"I feel great," she said, slurring words together a little. They all sat on the couch for ten minutes while Bella started feeling more and more drunk.

"Bella? Are you okay? You're looking a little green," said Alice.

"I'm perfectly fine Allie. Don't be such a wurry sport," she said, swaying a little in her seat. Then she turned to Emmett. "Can...can I go to the mall, Emmie Poo?"

Emmett laughed. "Sure. Alice, go get the video camera." She ran off. Emmett helped Bella up but she pushed him away.

"I can do this myself, Em. You wanna know why? Go on ask why."

"Why?"

"Because I'M A BIG GIRL NOW!" She giggled and fell on her butt. Man, drunk Bella is so much fun! Emmett helped her to his jeep and him, Bella, and Alice drove to the mall. Rose stayed behind, saying she wanted to stay out of this when Edward found out. Bella laughed and bounced up and down in her seat the whole ride there. When they got out. She ran into the Disney store. She gasped when she saw the Barbies. "Oh my gosh! They're so pretty!" She picked one up and hugged it to her chest. Then she said, "Emmy! Sing the Barbie doll song for Mulan."

Alice started the video camera, saying, "I'm so not going to miss this."

"Do I have to Bella?" She gave him the puppy dog face and he sighed. He went to the front of the store and sang "I'M A BARBIE GIRL! IN A BARBIE WORLD! LIFE IS PLASTIC! IT'S FANTASTIC!"

"Dance!" called Bella.

He started to run his hand along his chest. "YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR! AND TOUCH ME EVERYWHERE! Okay, I quit Bella!" Alice was laughing so hard it was hard to keep the camera still. Emmett bought Bella a bear and she squealed when she got it. Bella stumbled out of the store and right smack into Jessica and Mike. Alice said quietly to Emmett, "Oh, this is going to be good."

"Hey Bella. I didn't expect to see you here," said Mike, clearly way more please to see Bella than Jess was.

She tried to act sober. "Hello Michael. Hello Jessica. Have you met Foo Foo Cuddly Kins?" She held up the bear right in front of Jess' face.

Jess pushed the bear down. "Uh, are you okay Bella?"

"I'm great!" Then she looked at Mike. "You know Michael, I've been thinking a lot about us. I just wanted you to know..." she paused for dramatic effect. "...We are _never, ever, never, ever, never, ever, going to go out! _And Jess, you're a bitch!" Jessica's mouth dropped open and Bella ran away. Emmett and Alice followed her, laughing the whole way. Bella found Jacob.

"Hey Bells. What's up and why does Alice have a video camera?" He asked curiously.

Bella didn't answer his question. "So, do you think I can keep you as a pet? I just love dogs!" She got up in his face and batted her eyes.

"What's wrong with you Bella? You're acting like you're..." It must have just hit Jake, because his eyes widened and he grinned slowly. He looked at Emmett and said, "It was your idea wasn't it."

Emmett busted out laughing and nodded. Bella said, "Jake, can I keep you? I mean you're so loyal and OH MY GOD! IT'S THE COPS!" She started to run away. Jake, Alice, and Emmett looked the other way to see Edward and Jasper coming toward them.

"Oh shit!" Jake said, running off. Alice shut off the video camera and hid it behind her back. She and Emmett started walking casually the other way, while looking for Bella in the process.

"Emmett? Alice?" said Edward, suddenly behind them. They stopped in their tracks, gave each other another 'oh shit' look, and smiled at Edward when they turned around.

"Jazzy!" said Alice, throwing herself in Jasper's arms.

"Eddie! How ya been old brother o' mine?" Emmett patted Edward on the back and smiled while trying to look for Bella.

"Why are you looking for Bella?" asked Edward. "Shouldn't she be in school?"

Stupid mind reader! "Uh...uh..." Emmett tried to think of a good reason, but it was foiled when Bella jumped out of a planter, landed on her ass, and said, "You'll never take me alive coppers!"

Edward rushed over to Bella and helped her up while Alice got the video camera out again. As soon as she was on her wobbly feet again, she took off stumbling. The four vampires followed her to Victoria's Secrets. When "Bad Reputation" came on over the radio, she started dancing and falling and dancing and falling and singing totally off key. "I DON'T GIVE A DAMN BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION!" She ran around the store and pretended she was playing a guitar. "LALALALA SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING!" She forgot the words. She suddenly jumped up on a table full of thongs and started flinging them around. Then she jumped onto another table and used the bras as sling shots to shoot lip gloss and perfume at Edward.

"Drunk Bella rocks!" he yelled out, forgetting Edward didn't know.

Then he remembered as Edward yelled, "You did WHAT?"

"Bella! Give me a bra!" Emmett said, lunging up on the table and grabbing one. Together they shot stuff at Edward. When they ran out of ammo, Bella climbed down the table and Emmett carried her out of the store, running full speed. They ran outside to Target. Luckily, they had plastic weapons for Halloween, so they could use those. When Jasper, Alice, and furious Edward came in, Bella said, "Hey...hey wait a secon...I think you...you're in league with the cop Emmy."

"What? No I'm not."

"Yes you are! Traitor!" She started to swing the sword at him. Emmett deflected it with his shield. They sword fought until Bella fell down and passed out on the floor. Edward carefully picked her up and brought her to her house. But not before hitting Emmett on the back of the head.

*Three weeks later*

Bella was sober and didn't remember a single thing about her little drunk adventure. Alice had the whole thing on tape and as showing Esme and Carlisle when Edward and her came over. They were at the part when she was flinging thongs when Bella asked, "What's the hell?" Then something clicked in her head. The bottle Emmett gave her. "EMMETT CULLEN!" she yelled and started chasing after him. Emmett, amused, ran at human speed away from her and she chased him all the way to Seattle.


End file.
